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Written by: D.L. (SoloMomma) 9/14/2005 12:00:00 AM
"There was a TV ad several years back – it must be nine years ago already. I remember this ad only because of what happened. I never even saw the ad, and I have no idea what it was selling.

What I do know is that I was tired at the time – dead tired. Recently single, I was overwhelmed, scared and a bit shell-shocked (I often still am all those things). The day, like all days, consisted of dragging myself and the kids out of bed at what felt like the crack of dawn, getting us all ready for school and work, shoving everyone out the door with the right gear and paperwork, delivering us to our respective destinations, struggling hard and long at my job, then re-tracing my steps to collect the kids and get home.

When the ad came on, my kids were sprawled on the floor, waiting for the order from me to wash up and set the table for the dinner I was preparing.

For my part, I was cooking and worrying – worrying about how to get everything done, how to get everyone into bed on time, and how to pay the bills -- how to keep the electricity and heat on, buy clothes and shoes for the kids (let alone myself!), pay for their activities and food – and God forbid even the smallest emergency arise!

My oldest boy interrupted my quiet work and worry. Standing solemnly in front of me, he asked “Mom, how much does the world weigh?”

Startled, I stopped what I was doing for a second and looked at him. He was so cute, so serious and sincere. My oldest is 21 now, but then he was only 12. “I don’t know sweetheart,” I said as kindly as possible. “Why do you ask?”

“Because the ad on TV just said, ‘How much does the world weigh, ask a single mom.’ What did he mean mom?” A touch of fear cracked my little boy’s voice as he stood in the living room of his new home, a home that was far away from his friends and his father.

In a rush of faith and love, and little more, I said, “I imagine he thinks that a single mom’s life is stressful, pressured and hard. But he's wrong. It's a blessing and a privilege to be a mom, to be your mom, even single. It is not hard at all, and I am very lucky. So, really, I don't know what he means, honey,” in as light a tone as I could manage.

At this response, my small, scared son’s shoulders relaxed, and he returned to sprawling on the floor, waiting for dinner.

I often think back on that ad and my son's question. It provides strength when I really do feel the weight of the world pressing on me, and feel as thought it is more than I can bear. I am reminded that worrying is a waste of precious resources, and that, ultimately, everything is and will be OK. All these years later, the kids and I are still standing. The electricity is still on, and we have never gone hungry or done without something that we truly needed.

Without a doubt, the kids will grow up. The hardships and struggles involved in raising them will end. So will the joys, the special love, the fun, the outings, the surprises, the laughs, and the way they keep me challenged and growing and alive.

In the end, all that will remain is how I handled myself through these years – their years. Today when I think of that ad, I know that what matters more than anything is letting my kids know that they are my life’s purpose, they are my blessing and my privilege, that this is not hard at all, and that I am really lucky.

Solo Momma

"

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