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Written by: o2bnfrance 11/13/2005 12:00:00 AM
"“Oh, it's a long, long while from May to December...”

So says the Maxwell Anderson, Kurt Weill hit, September Song. That period is not really a long time, though, when you consider the elements of time that separate the two months as opposed to the differences in the seasons that accompany them. That is when you really start to notice the contrasts: colorful vs. drab; pleasant vs. cold; vibrance vs. dullness; entering the genesis of life in various forms vs. witnessing the final stages of its existence.

ENTER: Ashton and Demi.

When people speak of May-December love affairs, is it fair to apply the same standards that we apply to the seasons? Of course not. I have such friends, married for ten years, still getting along (usually), and still together. Although the woman in the union is ten years senior to the man, their friends think he is older, basing their speculations on his attitudes and preference of activities. She likes to dance, he likes to sit and watch; she likes challenges, he likes it simple. She likes potatoes, he likes po-tah-toes. She, the senior, is early spring; he, the junior partner, is late winter. Yet, according to expected norms of age characteristics, it should be reversed. Looking at this lovely couple, one could agree that a May/female and December/male relationship is workable.

Although I don’t presently know two people in a relationship where the man is vastly senior to the woman (no, I never Anna Nicole Smith and her deceased husband), according to the expected norms of age characteristics, one would expect the age gap to be greatly narrowed, simply because, women usually mature sooner than men do. Taking that into consideration, a younger woman who has grown tired of spoiled, immature younger men, whom expect her to always be inclined and reclined, rather than forthright and upright, could find happiness in a relationship with a considerably older man.

Whether the relationship is a senior woman-younger man or a younger woman-senior man combination, there will always be obstacles and objections. Perception is probably the number one roadblock, particularly, if friends are of the shared age group as each individual in the relationship (i.e. older partner/older friends; younger partner/younger friends). People love to be in charge, and they particularly love to be in charge of other people’s lives. Usually, they don’t mind revealing their feelings and will freely give unsolicited opinions regarding the relationships of their friends. Pay them no mind. They do the same thing regarding your other patterns of living, such as eating, sleeping, attire, choice of music, etc.

Other things that might cause problems in a May – December relationship are the factors that separate the individuals by time, customs, and habits. This will take some getting used to and some extra effort from both parties to overcome the differences. Don’t expect everyone to know the meaning of Bay of Pigs, Coldplay, or LOL. Don’t expect everyone to want to sit down for a nice dinner by candlelight every night or even occasionally. And don’t expect everyone to want to wake at 6:00 a.m. and read the Sunday newspaper while drinking his/her morning coffee.

Regardless of what is said or how someone else perceives it, you are the ones who will need to make the decision to take on this kind of relationship and to make it work. Just for precaution, though, I have listed some things below that could indicate that you might need to narrow the gap in your May-December relationship and find someone closer to your own age.

TEN QUESTIONS THAT MIGHT INDICATE YOUR
MAY-DECEMBER RELATIONSHIP IS IN JEOPARDY

10. “Isn’t James Dean that sausage guy?”

9. “Did the Fleetwood Mack come with power steering?”

8. “Is Letterman anything like FedEx?”

7. “What are ‘flicks’?”

6. “Do you mind if my grandkids come along?”

5. “A child’s menu for your son, Madame?”

4. “Drug plan? Whoa, we’ve got a new drug plan?”

3. “Yuck. . .you've also got spots on your liver?!!”

2. “Would you mind not saying, ‘To die for’?”

1. “So, do you like Dakota Fanning?”

Enjoy your holidays,
o2bnfrance

"

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