Lea's Love Bites
Wisdom: Thoughts to Remember
I wrote the following hundred-or-so pithy bites of wisdom to help understand relationships,
and head off pain, when love bites. (I am aware of the double meaning of bites; complex, like love.)
I hope you gain insights from reading these love bites on sololady.com, and that you come back to reflect on them often.
And if you seek love, I do hope you find it.
-One's love drives another's. Sometimes, away.
-Lust rarely turns to love. Love rarely returns to lust.
-If you forgive the person, you don't have to forgive the act.
-You have little chance of falling in love without
-The greater the pain, the greater the eventual peace.
-If you're not sure about living with someone, take a long trip with
-When you grieve it usually isn't for the lost person, but for the lost
-Heartbreak to one who hasn't loved and lost is like sex to a virgin.
-Love easily turns to hatred; hatred rarely turns to love.
-Calling or emailing a lot means little; calling or emailing a little means
-If they want you they will find you.
-After a really great first date, you'll usually be contacted immediately.
-Time heals all wounds, if you let it.
-When you can listen to your favorite love songs without a pang, you're over
-Tell the truth, but don't tell all.
-In love we're often blinded by the things we see, and we often see what
-Time stands still when you're falling in love. It catches up later.
-The more we can trust, the more we can suffer.
-You can learn more from love songs than from a therapist..
-Love is friendship with wings.
-Say less rather than more, even when complimenting your love.
-Forgive, but for your own sake, don't forget.
-It doesn't get much better than at the beginning. Hope for the same.
-Excitement is an aphrodesiac early on. Later, calmness is.
-The tradeoff for passion is comfort; but when passion fades, comfort doesn't
always replace it.
-Stay fit, even if you gain weight.
-Groom each other.
-Style makes up for freshness, but together they're irresistible.
you don't sow oats early, you'll be tempted to sow them later.
love grows in memory. Last love grows in reality.
-You learn from mistakes. Eventually.
back, if only in gesture. Take for real.
-Change fragrances with lovers.
lighter as you grow older.
-If your heart hasn't been broken you may have
never loved, but a broken heart can come from lust alone.
-No matter how much you
love someone, you can love someone else just as much.
in love has more to do with us than with our lover.
power and generosity are sexy.
-Dirt is usually a turnoff. If in doubt,
shower. (If in trouble, shower together!)
-Too much of anything isn't good --
-Once love leaves, it almost never returns. And if it does,
it is different.
-Hate is not the opposite of love. Indifference is.
count on friendship. Seek it when love dies.
-Love can turn to friendship.
Even better, friendship can turn to love.
fade when you take your clothes off.
-Commitment is never
easy. Breaking up is usually easier.
-People usually mean what they say, when
they say it; after that moment, all bets are off.
-Actions speak louder than
words, especially in a relationship.
say 'I love you' within six weeks, they may not mean it; if they don't
say 'I love you' by six months, it probably means they don't.
-At least once, women should love a younger man, and men, an older woman.
-Baggage should be unpacked at the end of each relationship. But there's usually still a carry-on.
-Act rather than act-out.
-Massage can deliver a loving message better than words.
-Little gifts given unexpectedly often mean more than big gifts that are
-Don't just talk sexy during sex.
-Strive for commonalities. Enough differences already exist.
-Prioritize the one you love.
-Don't put-down a lover's family, even if your lover does. Silent agreement
-Before complaining, try to do something about it.
-When it comes to love, the happiest people I know are the ones I know least.
-You spend a third of your time in bed. Learn to cuddle.
-If a lover usually calls and stops it means more than if a lover usually
doesn't call, and starts.
-Faithful lovers are more likely to change than non-faithful.
-The one who loves more has more to lose.
-Love is risky; but being alone risks never loving.
-Being with someone you don't like can be lonelier than being alone.
-Tears shed over you are worth a thousand words.
-Don't squander revenge.
Use it deftly.
-The head rules in the day, the heart at night. Decide accordingly.
-If you lie too much you'll start to believe it.
-Trust first, love later.
-Believe in yourself. You can only hope for the best in a lover.
-If in doubt, change the sheets.
-If you're dwelling on the beginning, you're probably near the end.
-Violence escalates; face it, fix it fast, or flee.
-The outside fades. What's inside intensifies.
-You have a right to mourn, even over a cad.
-Don't snoop if you don't want to get hurt.
-Get back on the horse, even if you just trail walk.
-Be with someone you would want to be with even without sex.
-Need is a turn-off.
is a turn-on. Mutuality is best of all.
-Don't focus on the destination; enjoy the journey.
-When you want to leave, try
to have someone new waiting.
-It isn't easy to leave a love,
but easier than being left.
apologies unless they are constant.
-Otherwise trustworthy people
can lose it when it comes to love.
-Eligible men sometimes collect harems.
-Write pluses and minuses. If
the pluses win, keep trying, unless there's abuse. If the minuses win, consider trying anyway.
-Eighty percent of men who die
during sex do so while being unfaithful.
-Only three percent of mammals
there aren't answers.
-Not knowing why may be worse
than the act itself.
-Bad news is better than mixed
-Don't waste more than a few
months if it isn't going anywhere;
you may wind up without time to go anywhere else.
don't mind a few extra pounds as much as you do.
-Don't worry about not being
beautiful. Make the most of your assets, and smile.
-In the game of love it doesn't
matter that much what you do or don't do.
-Chemistry trumps everything
else in the beginning.
-Don't let them know you're
not in demand.
-Any woman is some man's type.
-Money and power in men equate
with beauty and charm in women.
better it is, the harder it is when it's over.
-Memories last longer than relationships.
-Men who seem shy often surprise
in bed; men who seem bold rarely do.
-Boyish men are easier to forgive.
-What friends think isn't important
when you're in love, and seems important when you're not.
-Words spoken in passion should
not be assumed later.
-Don't ask a question about love if you don't want to
ask where things stand too early in the game.
-One imperfection is perfect.
-The best love is balanced.
-Being in love and being happy
aren't the same.
-Sometimes love isn't enough.
-If you're keeping a secret
from a lover, why?
-When you meet the friends, it's
a good sign. When you meet the family, it's a major sign.
praise stops, beware. When blame begins, be wary.
-If it seems too good to be true,
it won't be for long.
-A lover can always find time
to screw around.
-Love, and losing love: both make you lose your appetite.
-Saying "I love you" while making
love doesn't count half as much as said when you're not.
-Sometimes a person's friends
and family make him appear better than he is.
-If a man isn't sleeping with
you, he's often sleeping with someone else.
someone remains on the Internet dating site after seeing you awhile, beware.
-You can easily date more than
one person at a time, but it's difficult to love more than one person
at a time.
-Lovers want to believe....
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